New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
