That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
