____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
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