we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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