1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
