You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
