Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
