if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I can't turn off my feet"
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
