well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
