and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
You made out with two different species that night
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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