Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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