dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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