do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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