How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
