Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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