Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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