nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
