i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
