hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
