She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
