so let's talk penis.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
