maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
