wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
