Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
jump out the window naked night went bad
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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