If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
