They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Semen is not good for contacts.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize
