I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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