she was so not down for the gang bang
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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