pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
