Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
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