I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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