I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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