its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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