Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
