As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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