If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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