Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
