All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Randomize