I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
