Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
