My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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