Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
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