Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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