my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
The ass gains better be worth it
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