4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize