Have you finally orgasmed yet?
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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