you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
