I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
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Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
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So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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