Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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