I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
We are two peas in an std pod
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
