Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize