Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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