When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
