Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
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