All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
