I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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