Fine. I'll sleep in my office
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
The best revenge is premature balding
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
